tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56003572011-04-21T14:02:32.491-07:00errata to my in progress autobiographyundisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.comBlogger201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1164167637555954482006-11-21T18:43:00.000-08:002006-11-21T19:53:57.606-08:00

Damn it. My main blogs are down. Disordered Thought Processes and Starlight and Gravity are down for the count.I guess the good thing about Blogger having bought by Google is that it's pretty damn unlikely that they'll be pulling the plug on this operation any time soon.But as usual, I digress.χμ gives the best Christmas and birthday cards. She always includes an excerpt from her diary that is

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155788964828003092006-08-16T21:29:00.000-07:002006-08-16T21:29:24.840-07:00

Let's see if Blogger eats my post again.I am obsessed with Muse's new album Black Holes and Revelations, particularly the song "Starlight."Muse reminds me of a strange cross between Radiohead and Queen. Thom Yorke meets Freddy Mercury. Muse's front man captures Yorke's angst ridden fever-pitch, but the epic dynamics of the instrumentation recall Queen at its campiest. Some tracks make me think

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155784915820335742006-08-16T20:21:00.000-07:002006-08-16T20:21:55.830-07:00

Bleh, this beta version of Blogger is eating my posts. This sucks.But my apartment is a shambles. There is basically trash everywhere, my living room is a massive tangle of wires and cords. I'm completely paralyzed by all this.This is not a viable existence.I also wonder if there is a chance I'm manic, or at least hypomanic. You know how one of those cardinal symptoms of mania is going on massive

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155743712172108472006-08-16T08:50:00.000-07:002006-08-16T08:55:12.183-07:00

What sucks is that I can't do this vacation thing at all. I can't fucking relax. It's like all of the sudden all the thoughts and feelings I've been avoiding for the past ten years or so have come out to attack me.It's all clear to me now. I really have been burying myself in my work. When I'm busy, I don't have to think about how the rest of my life sucks, and how I'm lonely, and how I'm fat and

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155665682693333662006-08-15T11:14:00.000-07:002006-08-15T11:14:42.733-07:00

I feel like I'm completely losing my mind. There are like ten trillion ideas whizzing around my brain. This can't be good for me.

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155632757572205822006-08-15T02:05:00.000-07:002006-08-15T02:05:57.580-07:00

I feel so fucking hopeless.

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155629634983910912006-08-15T00:33:00.001-07:002006-08-15T01:13:54.996-07:00

Starlightby MuseThis song reminds me of this poemFar awayThis ship is taking me far awayFar away from the memoriesof the people who care if I live or dieStarlightI will be chasing your starlightuntil the end of my lifeI don't know if it's worth it anymoreAnd hold you in my armsI just wanted to holdyou in my armsMy lifeYou electrify my lifeLet's conspire to re-igniteall the souls that would die

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155627540873937682006-08-15T00:33:00.000-07:002006-08-15T00:39:00.883-07:00

Stop Complainingby Skye EdwardsI don't know whybut I cant seem to find the right melody todayI can't make the words fit how I feelI don't know whenwas the last time that I slept the whole night throughand when morning comes around I feel tiredI woke up from the strangest dreamwith a dancing dog and a beauty queenthey said nothing, nada, nienteI'm emptyBut you're here and I'm hereso I stop

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1155615578311932142006-08-14T21:17:00.000-07:002006-08-14T21:19:38.320-07:00

I guess I'm addicted. I told myself that I would stop blogging, that all I've been spewing is angst, guilt-ridden, self-pitying, depressing, angst, and no one wants to hear it.I am so alone in this world that I wonder if anyone except my mother will show up at my funeral.But, as I've said before, the music helps.Everything will be OK. I really believe that.

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1098871412831541552004-10-27T02:50:00.000-07:002004-10-27T03:03:32.833-07:00

it's kind of creepy if i think too hard about it. but what is there really to do when you're trapped in the bowels of a hospital at 3 in the morning, with naught but an internet connection to keep you company? so i've been getting my tarot cards read online. interestingly, it kind of told me to let go of the past. which is, sadly, despite it being a good six years since it all went down,

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1097991335345752152004-10-16T22:24:00.000-07:002004-10-16T22:35:35.346-07:00

Why is it that someone can say certain things, and they don't mean anything near the way I think they mean? Dear God, here we go again. I remember sitting on the beach once with my friends. It was one of those bizarre love triangle situations. The guy who is a good friend of mine wasn't there, but, of course, I manage to be the only straight guy in the group, so the women and the gay man get to

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1097848461618555192004-10-15T06:52:00.000-07:002004-10-15T06:54:21.616-07:00

I have completely pissed away an evening roaming through blogs and xangas. The sun is coming out, and man, do I feel pathetic.

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1097838656075327932004-10-15T03:46:00.000-07:002004-10-15T04:10:56.076-07:00

This lifestyle is not conducive to my mental health. So I've spent the last four or five hours (I forget exactly) jumping from link to link like an ADHDer, just trying to stay awake until the sun comes up. Later tonight, I get to start on this new, mad schedule for two weeks, working 14 hour shifts from 5pm to 7am. I am just not a night person. And all I've got for company right now are words.

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1097818123179583052004-10-14T22:21:00.000-07:002004-10-14T22:28:43.180-07:00

So we enter the realm of darkness. The underworld of the night shift, the hours of the graveyard. My loneliness is a palpable presence, a solid mass. Like rotten meat sitting in my stomach. And I'm too tired to vomit it up. I am angry. While I'm sure there are deep-seated psychological reasons for my ire, I can't pinpoint anything in my consciousness. The mundane activities of daily living are

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1097713877962355172004-10-13T17:08:00.000-07:002004-10-13T17:31:17.963-07:00

In the light of day, my despair evaporates. with the sun shining, it's hard to imagine the aching sadness, the weight of 10 years of wandering the desert, alone and forsaken, suddenly coming down upon me in the middle of the night, unannounced and unexpected. Lying awake in the darkness, I am trying to be still, trying to shut off my mind. Instead, I find myself rummaging through my memories,

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1069345949435012332003-11-20T08:32:00.000-08:002003-11-20T08:32:54.903-08:00

ok, i'm at the hospital, and i've been too lazy to figure out how to get wikieditish to work on my main blog, and i'm tired of trying to screw around with Mindterm and trying to run SSH from a web browser, so here i am. in case you care, i'm doing my medicine sub-internship right now. this is typically the most grueling of all 4th year rotations, and, for the most part, it has been living up to

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1062284355529663652003-08-30T15:59:00.000-07:002003-08-30T15:59:43.190-07:00

i've grown rather fond of Blosxom, although i do still fantasize about using xsl stylesheets. (i don't know why. maybe because i've been myself how to write xsl for 2-1/2 years now.) but now, my blogs are locked down because of excessive hammering (thank you, Radio Community Server.) And i wonder if there are sysadmins at my web host this long weekend who will answer my plaintive cries. but

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1062052114732369632003-08-27T23:28:00.000-07:002003-08-27T23:28:34.703-07:00

yikes. i've nuked my main blog site. now the question is, do i wait until the sysadmin re-enables my permissions, or do i just revert to my own homegrown system for blogging?

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1058798940127820852003-07-21T07:49:00.000-07:002003-07-21T07:50:18.910-07:00

To: evilresident@fatoprofugus.net i have walked into my school and discovered that today is the first day of orientation for the m1s. for some inarticulable reason, i cringe. oh well. live and learn. nothing teaches like the hand in the fire.

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5600357.post-1058798701414156762003-07-21T07:45:00.000-07:002003-07-21T07:46:19.530-07:00

well. until i figure out how to post things remotely at my hand-crafted blog, this will have to do. this is where i shall post random snippets from my promiscuous wanderings amongst strange computer terminals in this brave new world.

undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0